Posted Sunday, February 29, 2004 at 2:57 pm

Hey, everybody. Johnny will now exit Internet silence. The only things I remember from being in the hospital are reading my book the first day and watching the movie "Batman" the second or third day. It's funny what happens when you are drugged enough to sleep three days away, so if you want the plot to "Batman" don't ask me. I only remember the part where he gets the "Bat Signal".

"Resting in the Lord" is a very strange phrase. I was really resting at the hospital, but it's difficult to rest at home, lying in bed, wondering about what is happening to the cancer. I'd rather just sleep through this entire thing, than have to function through it, like doing school. All I can really do today is thank all of you for your prayers and letters. They are so encouraging.

Johnny

Posted Saturday, February 28, 2004 at 8:04 pm

John and I came home from the hospital yesterday. He slept about 90% of the time during the chemo and he has decided he prefers that to being awake and nauseous. He's pretty pooped out but in good spirits. He'll get IVs every night through the weekend to keep him hydrated. Thanks for praying for protection for his good cells while we beat-up the cancer cells. Our whole family is reaping the benefits of your prayers...God is here and He is close.

Yesterday I woke early with a worship song on my mind, "I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross." As I looked at my son sleeping on the bed nearby, lips pale, cap on his bald head, IV's running into him....I thought how I dispise what cancer has done to my son. Then God reminded me that he took my cancer (sin) and put it on his son. "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21) There is a lot of talk about the suffering of Christ, but what of God the Father watching his son beaten, bloodied, hung on the cross as my sins were paid for. Out of love for me, God chose...he chose to allow his son to suffer so my problem with sin could be taken care of. May the small personal pain of this trial with my son drive me to the loving arms of my God who withheld nothing that I might get everything.

Thanks for praying...
Phil

Posted Wednesday, February 25, 2004 at 11:01 pm

John slept much of yesterday and today. The medications he gets to prevent side effects makes him sleepy and when he wakes he feels pretty good. Dr. Hill is really pleased with how well he is handling all this...thank you God for answered prayer!!

This PET scan result has been an interesting aside to me in this journey. I know that clean lungs raises the odds of cure in this disease, but honestly, does it really matter if John's lungs are clear or not? It is a nice little glimmer of hope for a cure for John...and we all pray for that...like children pleading with their daddy. But where must we place our hope. "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and My God." (Psalms 42:5) A downcast and disturbed soul is the soul of a man who puts his hope in anything but God. I can't put my hope in a cure for John. I can put my hope in God...he's proven his love through Christ...He'll do what's right.

Thank you for praying...
Phil

Posted Tuesday, February 24, 2004 at 9:54 pm

Such a day of good news!
My father came through his triple by-pass heart surgery and is recovering. My sisters tell me he is talking and up. Thank you, LORD, for extending his life. Thank you, friends, for praying for him and me.

Phil and Johnny are bunking in the hospital tonight. Thanks to the wonders of laptop computers, Phil spent the day doing his taxes at Johnny's bedside, while Johnny killed tumor cells all day with chemo.

Another dose of good news came today. The PET scan done yesterday demonstrated a lot of cancer activity in Johnny's leg, as expected, but showed no similar activity in his lungs. We are not out of the woods, but it is very likely that the spots in Johnny's lungs are not cancer. We are cautious, yet hopeful, since this significantly increases the likelihood for cure.

Thank you dear friends for standing with us in prayer! We KNOW the comfort of our LORD, deeper than ever before. And you, His Hands and Feet, have supported us with hugs and meals and comforting words and notes in the mail that come at just the right time. Thank you for walking with us.

Finally, I'd like to stop a misconception out there. Some of you who read this have commented on how strong we are. Let me clue you in up front. All my education, experience, wisdom, confidence, etc. lasted all of about 5 minutes after Johnny's diagnosis. I am a heap of cooked spaghetti on the floor. There is no strength here. Anything strong you see is purely Jesus. And He's there for you, too.
Laura

Posted Monday, February 23, 2004 at 10:36 pm

Hey everyone, Dad has been bugging me to get on the web and post something. NOW, is probably the best time for me to say something because it is the only day(since chemo.) that I feel good enough to type something other than commands for a computer game. I have been anticipating all weekend about chemo tomorrow, but I thank you for all your prayers because when I turn my eyes toward Jesus...all the worry and fear are shrunk down to a tiny smudge on the computer screen(I came up with that analogy all my self :-) ). Knowing you are praying is a huge encouragement to me...God is with me everyday.

Somewhere in Matthew Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow, and that verse has stuck with me this entire adventure. I recently read 2 Corinthians 12:9 "God's power is made perfect in weakness" I really understand that verse now and thank God again and again for his strength. Thank you all so much for praying and supporting me.

In Christ(and that is where I intend to stay)
John Chase

Posted Sunday, February 22, 2004 at 10:05 pm

Had a busy day today going to church and then driving to South Bend to visit Laura's dad who is to have open-heart surgery tomorrow. Please pray for him, Bill Carter. He has a relationship with Jesus and is not afraid to die, but he would love to have more time to serve the Lord. John starts IV fluids tomorrow at home in preparation for starting chemo Tuesday. Laura obviously feels torn between the two. John will also have a PET scan tomorrow to evaluate the nodules in his lungs.

Those of you who have seen John can attest to his peace in the Lord. "For the Lord is good. His love endures forever. His faithfulness continues to all generations." (Psalms 100:5) I love words like forever and all. Words I don't have to wonder about or qualify. "Forever" includes yesterday, today, and tomorrow. "All generations" include Dad Carter, Laura, and John. Doubt and fear have no root in the promises of scripture where God reveals his true nature and puts to rest our fears.

Thank you for your prayers...
Phil

Posted Thursday, February 19, 2004 at 8:00 pm

John and I spent the day seeing two doctors in Indy. Dr Hock is a pediatric oncologist. We visited for a bit and then he reviewed John's xrays with a radiologist. They think most of the small nodules on John's lungs might be histoplasmosis...a common infection in farm country and harmless. He has one larger one on his right lung they are also wondering about... we're going to run some more tests...painless tests to John's delight. Then Dr Rougraff is the oncologic orthopedist. After discussing the options, short of a miraculous healing, the best option will be a rotationplasty...amputating the knee and bringing up the ankle to use as a new knee...but before connecting everything they rotate the foot to face backwards so everything will bend right. He says they do this more in Europe for kids who want to be able to keep playing soccer. The other options have more limitations on activity and more complications. As this doctor is trying to discribe all the different options and their limitations... John keeps saying "forget that" and then he launches into all the plans he has for his fake leg.

John's ready to go...but first three more rounds of chemotherapy. How can I ever doubt God. "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things" (Romans 8:32) This verse argues from the greater (giving his son) to the lesser (giving us all things). This resonates with me as a father. The Father heart of God was willing to even give his son...even to the cross. How can I doubt God's good intentions toward us...his kids. I can trust the Father heart of God.

Thanks for your prayers...
Phil